The Impact vs. The Direction

Official Start Time: 10:00 p.m.
Date: 12/14/08
Official End Time: 11:00 p.m.

I'm running into something like writer's block but instead for ideas and inspiration on what we can do to get more members on the site. Our goal had been set for 1000 members by the end of December and there is no way that we can come even close to that goal with the time we have and the activity that the site is currently experiencing. I don't know if there is much that can be done in this situation or what that means for the future of the site. More importantly the impact the site is having would affect the amount of time I am able to give it. Which brings me to the essence of today's blog . . .

"The Impact vs The Direction"

I remember when I first started this "project" I could remember the impact our movement was going to make and how every hour that I put in could really make a difference. The number of members we had on the site was something that we were told could make a real difference in this movement. That the more members we have, the more companies and organizations are willing to donate to our cause and help us move new and exciting ideas forward.

Running off that idea I started to add people frantically to the site working towards a goal much larger than the one we have today. The goal was initially set for 2000 members by the end of December. A month later we cut down the number of members needed to 1000. Today we have barely half of that and only half a month to go. I've worked hard and it hurts me not to see us where we should be. There isn't anything that I could have done differently besides having worked even harder for us to see better results.

I've had to embrace change since taking part of this experience but something that I am concerned with is the battle that is being fought.

Hector's goals vs Steve's goals

My goal was initially to get as many members as possible so that we (the American students that participated in the 2008 Summer Camp Experience) could get sponsorship for the site so that six Chinese students (Snow, Seven, Tony, Albee, Liyang, and Fancy) we had met on the 2008 Summer Camp experience could come to America for 2 weeks as part of a cultural exchange program we had organized that would be all-expense paid. It was a dream that I wish could come true but seems out of my grasp with the things that have come to stand in my way. I had and have put in so much time towards getting the members and hoping that we would get the support we need that I didn't notice I was fighting against a battle I couldn't win: Steve's goals.

Steve's goal in my opinion was to have us keep the activity on the site growing and help him spread the word about the different cultural exchange programs and the stuff we were doing on the site. Now I know I owe Steve an arm and a leg. If it was for me, his last trip probably would have had a smoother course. I however doubt that the site would be where it is today if it wasn't for me going and getting sick the way I did. It really doesn't matter either way because it's Steve whose holding the trigger and whatever he has planned is what will go through. I owe him but I don't think that my goals should take second or third seat to his.

I still do want to accomplish the goals I have set or at least redefine some of them towards something I feel would satisfy all the hours I have put into the site. Redefining success and the goals we set is something that makes our dreams more realistic and in this case feasible. I know that right now the economy sucks and working towards such an extreme project can be discouraging but the impact vs the direction of these movements is what keeps me here. I'm not a quitter and I'm not ready to abandon something just because I can't figure out a solution for it all. I would appreciate support and the help of others but I stand before you alone in a world where I feel I am blind to the truth that everyone else can see so clearly.

I still think that we can accomplish our goals

It must because I am so hard headed and determine to succeed that I reject to accept the things in front of me. There hasn't been any donations or sponsorship and there probably will never be any. Our ideas is focused on 6 students rather than a community of students who no matter how I phrase makes providing support not the most exciting thing. We're a non-profit organization and investors want to make money, not see the "potential" an idea might have if they invest.

Redefining this goal literally means giving up. In retrospect it would teach me what to do better the next time but more importantly to take charge of my goals. Something I feel that I could have done differently was work more towards my goal and talk to different companies, apply for grants and really move toward things that would've helped us make that dream possible. But what happened happened and I can only blame myself for not having opened my eyes sooner.

I'm sorry Snow, Seven, Tony, Albee, Liyang and Fancy for not having worked hard enough towards a trip I had dreamed about ever since leaving Yinchuan. I hope you can forgive me.

Sincerely, Hector Guzman
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