Official Start Time: 11:57 pm
Date: 7/9/08
Official End Time: 12:22 am
*Today's day has so many ups and downs that I am not sure if I want to write it down . . . but I must or they will kill me. Maybe I can find some happiness out of today?*
As usual today started with pump problems that again ruined my reputation in China. Several attempts were made throughout the night and in the morning but with no avail. Fortunately I didn't run into DKA, but got all of the same scoldings as usual. I know things were going to head south and fast so I decided to take the bullet and just say it's my fault. No one or nothing can cover me this time.
The day started with a welcoming exercise in which we all had to say our name, play with holla-hoops, and balls. After the exercise I decide the plunge had to be taken and told Ms. V to get me a pack of needles for "emergency" when in reality to substitute the pump.
We soon began to play games but I was more focused on getting a needle and not vomiting . . . when I did get a needle I got some insulin and dropped the rest on my pants. Soon enough I started to feel sick and got Steve really mad at me to the point where he couldn't look at me.
*Never again will I ask Steve for a favor/go on another trip to prevent him the pain and suffering. I don't blame him for being mad and feel that I have let him and my doctor down as a person and a diabetic. I cannot call myself Hector Guzman till I make things right.
Snow was in the middle of a movie when they called her to get my medicine. As usual I ruin Snow's day with all this crap. I have to make sure I repay her someway that she won't forget. When we finally did reach Snow's house, I got to take a shot of insulin and was better rather quickly. Ms. V, Eileen, and Jay however didn't leave till 4:30 wanting to make sure my BG was perfect.
In between that time we talked about my negligence as a person and how Steve would kill me. Everyone kept on saying that Snow is too nice and that I should marry her. Get her a green card to repay her for her services. I think Snow is amazing and wouldn't mind being her husband, but maybe when I have $, and my diabetes doesn't kill her. I am however thinking of getting Snow a jade necklace. I'm looking to spend 300-400 but might go over with a journal and several other tiny gifts. Snow right now means the world to me and makes me feel bad that the only way we connect is by my diabetes. We both love books and could talk for hours. Hopefully I'll learn Chinese and be able to make her feel better.
Around 5:44 we had dinner at which I tried to eat as little and as simple as possible. Then from dinner we went shopping for groceries and later souvenirs. I tried to ask Snow in a casual way what kind of jewelry she likes saying it was for my sister. So far I got nice piece of green stone (jade) on a silver chain.
Around 8 we caught a movie together called the Red Cliff. This was initially the movie Snow was seeing in the beginning. I tried to make her as comfortable as possible providing some conversation and blocking the graphic parts. It was exciting and fun at the same time.
At 10:30 we finally got home and I ate just a bit. Now I am ending today's entry on the happier notes than the sad, depressing, dishonoring ones. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Hector Guzman
7/10/08 12:22 am
This entry shows me at my lowest point on this trip and probably at my most vulnerable.
I had gotten sick a second time in this entry and on the day of just writing about how I had gotten better. I did miss a day and will try to recap it the best I can in my next entry.
My morale at this point is really low and there is really no one else I can blame. I brought this on myself and regret all the pain I caused. I could apologize all day but feel that there would be no actual way of making things right. What has happened has happened and I can only move forward and try to make things right some other way.
I feel bad how I ruined Snow's life in general on the trip. The poor girl came to relax and was then burdened with having to take care of me. I feel like I practically killed her after getting sick the second time and was reassure by those on the trip saying, "Nice one dumass".
Hopefully I will learn from this experience and be able to make things right.
Date: 7/9/08
Official End Time: 12:22 am
*Today's day has so many ups and downs that I am not sure if I want to write it down . . . but I must or they will kill me. Maybe I can find some happiness out of today?*
As usual today started with pump problems that again ruined my reputation in China. Several attempts were made throughout the night and in the morning but with no avail. Fortunately I didn't run into DKA, but got all of the same scoldings as usual. I know things were going to head south and fast so I decided to take the bullet and just say it's my fault. No one or nothing can cover me this time.
The day started with a welcoming exercise in which we all had to say our name, play with holla-hoops, and balls. After the exercise I decide the plunge had to be taken and told Ms. V to get me a pack of needles for "emergency" when in reality to substitute the pump.
We soon began to play games but I was more focused on getting a needle and not vomiting . . . when I did get a needle I got some insulin and dropped the rest on my pants. Soon enough I started to feel sick and got Steve really mad at me to the point where he couldn't look at me.
*Never again will I ask Steve for a favor/go on another trip to prevent him the pain and suffering. I don't blame him for being mad and feel that I have let him and my doctor down as a person and a diabetic. I cannot call myself Hector Guzman till I make things right.
Snow was in the middle of a movie when they called her to get my medicine. As usual I ruin Snow's day with all this crap. I have to make sure I repay her someway that she won't forget. When we finally did reach Snow's house, I got to take a shot of insulin and was better rather quickly. Ms. V, Eileen, and Jay however didn't leave till 4:30 wanting to make sure my BG was perfect.
In between that time we talked about my negligence as a person and how Steve would kill me. Everyone kept on saying that Snow is too nice and that I should marry her. Get her a green card to repay her for her services. I think Snow is amazing and wouldn't mind being her husband, but maybe when I have $, and my diabetes doesn't kill her. I am however thinking of getting Snow a jade necklace. I'm looking to spend 300-400 but might go over with a journal and several other tiny gifts. Snow right now means the world to me and makes me feel bad that the only way we connect is by my diabetes. We both love books and could talk for hours. Hopefully I'll learn Chinese and be able to make her feel better.
Around 5:44 we had dinner at which I tried to eat as little and as simple as possible. Then from dinner we went shopping for groceries and later souvenirs. I tried to ask Snow in a casual way what kind of jewelry she likes saying it was for my sister. So far I got nice piece of green stone (jade) on a silver chain.
Around 8 we caught a movie together called the Red Cliff. This was initially the movie Snow was seeing in the beginning. I tried to make her as comfortable as possible providing some conversation and blocking the graphic parts. It was exciting and fun at the same time.
At 10:30 we finally got home and I ate just a bit. Now I am ending today's entry on the happier notes than the sad, depressing, dishonoring ones. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Hector Guzman
7/10/08 12:22 am
This entry shows me at my lowest point on this trip and probably at my most vulnerable.
I had gotten sick a second time in this entry and on the day of just writing about how I had gotten better. I did miss a day and will try to recap it the best I can in my next entry.
My morale at this point is really low and there is really no one else I can blame. I brought this on myself and regret all the pain I caused. I could apologize all day but feel that there would be no actual way of making things right. What has happened has happened and I can only move forward and try to make things right some other way.
I feel bad how I ruined Snow's life in general on the trip. The poor girl came to relax and was then burdened with having to take care of me. I feel like I practically killed her after getting sick the second time and was reassure by those on the trip saying, "Nice one dumass".
Hopefully I will learn from this experience and be able to make things right.
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